My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
