her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
