What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
