Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
