i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
