He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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