i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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