i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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