Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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