he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
