Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Need sex. Gaining weight.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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