I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
