I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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