Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
