I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
