I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
