I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
