You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
