went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
