you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Oh god it's open bar.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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