i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He kissed a someone with a penis
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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