i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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