i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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