Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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