Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You ruined the universe
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
