im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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