Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
