i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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