I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just had sex bonerless
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
