I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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