Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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