i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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