If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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