There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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