If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
