Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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