Dual....:-)
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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