Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
