u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
