Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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