just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
should my penis look like a turkey
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
