Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
nutella sex= disaster
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
