I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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