do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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