i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
