I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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