so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
