I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
