"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
