I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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