There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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