He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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