what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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