Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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