Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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