he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
