If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
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