I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize