My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
